Menopause – Becoming an Elder

The Maiden, Mother, Marga and Crone aspects of a woman’s life arc are symbolised by the waxing, full, waning and dark moons. The Menopause acknowledges the transition from the Marga into the Crone (meaning ‘crowned one’, ‘sovereign’, or ‘wise woman’) stage of our lives to embody becoming an elder.

The onset of our first menstruation in our Maidenhood and the arrival of our first baby announcing our Motherhood are definite events which happen on a date which can be circled on a calendar and celebrated as they happen.

Between the years of 45-55 a woman enters the peri-menopause phase of her life known as Marga, Shamana or High Priestess. Here she is shifting from her life arc experiencing the via positiva or masculine energies of growth, productivity and ‘doing’ during her maidenhood and mothering, to the via negativa or feminine energies of drawing inwards, introspection and ‘being’ years of her eldership. The menopause, creeps stealthily upon us by degrees, without any fanfare to alert us to the fact that this is going to be our last menstrual cycle – ever. Indeed, it is only retrospectively that we realise it was the last one.

Menopause is the rite of passage that punctuates the Marga phase of a womans life and leads us steadily towards our Wise Woman or Crone life arc. This can leave many women feeling at least wistful, if not even regretful as menstruation has been a constant companion for the majority of our lives. The last menstruation also signals a certain end to the Motherhood stage of life. It is the doorway through which we must step into the new phase of our life – and with it comes healing and grieving that needs to happen in order that we become the Wise Woman who has met her shadow.

Some women don’t see that they have moved forward into a new era and some don’t want to see, trying desperately to cling onto their more youthful perception of themselves. The emphasis in the media on the importance of looking youthful and hiding the signs of aging does not make it easy for a woman to let go of the past and move towards the future especially as better nutrition, exercise and health care means that women today are fitter and more active when they enter the menopause and beyond, than their predecessors. Eventually, though, the Wise Woman will accept that she is in the Crone phase even if her spirit still dances with the Maiden.

Whether we embrace the Crone stage from the moment we have our first hot flush (or power surge) or whether we reluctantly drag our feet into Cronedom, there is often a feeling of regret that there was never any definite moment when we could mark the occasion. Many women feel that they have somehow been cheated out of the acknowledgement that they have moved forward and now have new status, especially if this has happened early through surgery or other health reasons. In the past – and indeed in some cultures still today – the onset of menstruation is recognised by a special ceremony for the young girl in which she is admitted to the circle of women. At the other end of the spectrum, it was believed that when a woman stopped menstruating, she kept her wise blood inside her and increased her wisdom. Elderwomen were, therefore, revered and honoured.

The Rite of Passage to elder sessions with me aim to provide acknowledgement and celebration of a woman’s move forward into her Cronehood, wisdom and eldership. It doesn’t matter whether you have only just started the menopause or whether it happened several years ago: what matters is that you want to mark this rite of passage with the honour and respect that it deserves. I can help you to look back on the other rites of passage that you have met in your life, what each has brought you and what you are now being called to embody in your Wise Woman years ahead. We are after all, the ones that we have been waiting for.

Booking Your Menopause Rite of Passage Sessions

I would love to help you restore the honour and dignity to a woman’s mature years.

I charge £120 for two one hour online sessions at agreed times each month. On the third month you will embody this work by creating your own unique private or shared ceremony.